Since the advent of the Bay Harbor development project just south of Petoskey, the ultra rich from literally all corners of the globe have descended upon Little Traverse Bay, and brought with them a demand for high-end wine, cheeses and other foodstuffs. So when The Wife and I venture North for a weekend, we can rest assured that copious amounts for awesome goodies can be found. If one’s looking to stock one’s cupboard, fridge, and wine rack with the finest of staples, it’s as easy as a trip to Esperance in Charlevoix, Symons General Store in Petoskey, or Toski Sands Market in Harbor Springs.
Despite the new-found good fortune of the vacationing gourmet food consumer, in the case of Bay Harbor, local community leaders have come to realize that drawing in individuals with such vast wealth can sometimes be akin to Faustian bargaining. Such was witnessed a few years back when the seasonal “residents” of Bay Harbor attempted to seize a major section of public roadway between Charlevoix and Petoskey under the pretext of “imminent domain”; all for the sole purpose of turning it into their own private airstrip, for use mostly during the summer months. It didn’t matter that Petoskey, Charlevoix, and Harbor Spring all had existing airports capable of supporting the traffic of as many Lear and Gulfstream aircraft that Bay Harbor’s rich “cottagers” could throw at them. These rich bastards wanted the convenience of being able to step off of their private jets, into a golf cart, and be whisked away to the comfort of their living rooms all in under ten minutes. So what if the run-of-the-mill work-a-day local resident would now be forced to drive an extra ten miles out-of-route in order to make the usual trek between Charlevoix and Petoskey. Fortunately, the year-round community objected so vociferously, that the scheme never developed past the planning stages.
To make a pendulum swing in the exact opposite direction, the once rustic Charlevoix has since been invaded by hordes of hippies and check-cashing Socialists; and individuals representing the Green Party now hold local public office. So I suppose as much as I find their ilk as kook-ridden as any lot, the everyday vacationer, like myself, can rest-assured that elements of former Skull and Bones types aren’t going to invade, wall-off, and stage Eyes Wide Shut styled sex orgies in the little vacation community that I grew up loving so deeply and so dearly. In this case, the old adage of “enemy of my enemy is my friend” rings loud and true.
Since the early 1990’s over-development has more or less drawn many “non-traditionals” into Northwest Lower Michigan as permanent residents, and has really served to siphon certain erstwhile elements of “yokel” out of many of the locals. One community that has yet to be hit full-force by over-development and over-saturation is the still-quaint town of Bellaire, located roughly 35 miles south of Charlevoix, and about 20 miles west of Mancelona. Typical of Northwest Lower Michigan, there is little industry in the area aside from tourism. The main attraction that has traditionally brought in Down-staters has been Shanty Creek Resort. With two ski areas for abundant winter enjoyment, and several golf courses for the summer golf crowd, Shanty is to Bellaire, as “The Mill” was to the town of Charlestown in the movie “Slapshot”. It was amidst this resorty backdrop that a few local entrepreneurs boldly staked their claim to local culinary legitimacy.
Let’s say you’ve just spent the whole of a chilly winter day shredding the hell out of nearby Shanty. I’m talking skiing the way I ski: arrive right before the lifts open; disregard a lunch break; and ski like a psycho until 4:30 when the lifts close and the ski patrol rancorously throws you off the mountain. Sure, I generally skip lunch on a ski day. I paid my sixty bucks to ski, not eat over-priced cafeteria food. So naturally, once the skis are locked into the car’s roof rack, I’m pretty ravenous. The perfect antidote for this kind of animal-like hunger is a trip to Toonies Fish & Steak on Bridge Street. Don’t let the “Fish & Steak” portion of their name deter a price conscious consumer. It’s not as upscale as one might think. Toonies may have some higher quality items on their menu, but they’re a diner through and through. And a GOOD diner, nonetheless. In my humble opinion, the perfect post-ski meal is none other than a menu item known as “The Angry Mountain”. Toonies starts the Angry Mountain with half-pound bacon cheeseburger. Fresh lettuce, tomato, and onion are added in, as would be customary on any proper burger. But what sets The Angry Mountain apart from the normal burger is the bun. In place of a bun Toonies uses two grilled-cheese sandwiches. All of this is held together by a large steak knife, used in the manner of a railroad spike, right down the center of the sandwich. What you come away with is a huge and deliciously satisfying burger, with plenty of food to spare. The first time I ordered The Angry Mountain, my cousin’s husband and I split one and we easily took it down. So as I said earlier, it’s potentially the perfect post-ski meal. Toonies also has a pretty legit selection of quality microbrews on tap, to round out the experience. Toonies doesn’t disappoint.
Now if one is in the mood for the ultimate in on-site craft brewing, a trip across the street to Short’s Brewery is a must. Joe Short had been brewing beer for years prior to deciding to market his quality brew to the general public. Short’s various brews are available for purchase throughout the state of Michigan, but like any beer, the experience is never the same until you actually come to the source and have a fresh pint drawn right from the tap. Michigan has several prominent craft brew outfits: Dragonmeade, Bell’s, and Arcadia are just to name a few. Short’s Brewery ranks right up there with any of these aforementioned micro brewers. With upwards of 15 rotating styles of beer to choose from, they have something for everyone. Growlers are always available if you’d like to take a larger quantity of your favorite selection back to the cabin. Short’s has a limited menu, but it’s menu is loaded with great choices. The veritable star of their culinary offerings would be of course their pizza. With inventive (and sometimes confusing) names like “The Stallion” and “Mutilated Lips”, there are many different varieties from which to choose. To cut to the chase, Short’s pizza is arguably the BEST pizza that I have ever had, this side of the Atlantic. This is no exaggeration or faint praise. I am truly hard pressed to recall a better pizza that I have found in any other North American pizza establishment. Their thin crust is the anchor of this masterpiece; but cheese, sauce; and toppings all come together in a culmination of catamount pizza bliss. If you’ve just skied the whole day, and then meandered your way down to Short’s for a pint and a pizza, that’s a day that is nearly impossible to improve upon. And although Short’s servers might sometimes be semi-aloof, a simpering hipster waitress is a small sacrifice when faced with the reality that you’re about to experience maybe the most outstanding pizza anywhere.
If you’re traveling through Michigan’s northern Lower Peninsula, and are looking to avoid the hoi pollois, the hippies, and slowly-developing urban sprawl, Bellaire is definitely the place. Arriving thirsty and with an empty stomach is obligatory.
Chew on THAT!
T.S.G.
