I christen thee, “The Snarky Glutton”: a blog for the intrepid food reader and the adventurous palate. I was once like you. Misguided, confused, a dedicated consumer of microwave dinners, canned food, and meals at schlock-on-the-wall chain restaurants. Then along came my wife (or at least the woman who eventually became my wife), and everything changed. Among all the great things that were woven into the tapestry of my life from the moment I was able to con my way into a second date with her, culinaria seems to figure into our relationship as one of the most prominent elements. I’m not going to force feed you any of this sappy, contrived Jerry Maguire “you complete me” bullshit, but my wife had me at, “I’ll take my rib eye rare-plus.”
So Baby, thanks for pulling me back from the brink of food-oblivion. Thanks for eleven years of (mostly) wedded bliss. And thanks for not smothering me in my sleep with a pillow during those rare, less-than-blissful moments. I dedicate this blog (and my elevated cholesterol levels) to you. You’re the best, Kid! Are we doing cassoulet this Sunday?
Note: I have nothing against the common vegan. However, irrational, Hizzbollah-like miltant vegans who post unsolicitied, shrill, harpy-esque comments on my blog will have their posts laughed at, castigated, and mercilessly made fun of. A vegan tested me once, and I ate his comment with fava beans and a nice Chianti. (insert slurping noises)
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